


Silence Has A Sound

by themysticalsong



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Mattex AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themysticalsong/pseuds/themysticalsong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has her back towards him- won’t as much as look at him. If he could, he would go back in time to the moment before last, whack his past self and tell him not to be an ass. But that was the point, wasn’t it? The deed was done, and there was no way he could take back that moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence Has A Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't know either Alex Kingston or Matt Smith in person. This work is simply a fanwork- coz, well, Mattex makes fans ship itself.

 

 

 

Suddenly everything around them is silent. Where only moments before the sound of their laughter could be heard, every sound has been replaced by a ringing silence.

  

Alex has her back towards him- won’t as much as look at him. If he could, he would go back in time to the moment before last, whack his past self and tell him not to be an ass. But that was the point, wasn’t it? The deed was done, and there was no way he could take back that moment.

  

His first instinct is to reach out to her, pull her to him, apologise profusely. But he knows better. Past couple of years have taught him that any attempts at apologising would only end up making Alex angrier- would only take her farther away from him. She would build up a wall around herself, never discuss the issue again and one day it will all explode in his face. No. The best thing to do right now, even though he doesn’t agree with it, is to leave Alex alone for some time. Give her some space and time, so she could cool down. Only then would she be ready to accept his apology. So with a last glance at Alex, Matt proceeds to shuffle out of the room.

  

Pausing at the door, his hand at the jamb, Matt turns to look at Alex, only to be met with her silence, her back towards him. His head bowed, and his heart filled with guilt, Matt, slowly and silently, moves out of the room.

  

Flopping down on the couch, his head in his hands, he hopes, and prays to whatever force was watching over them, that Alex would calm down by the morning, at least enough to hear him out.

 

 

~~*~~

  

He could not have been more wrong.

  

Every morning, without fail, he would wake up to Alex’s smiling face. The next few hours were spent with her out-of-tune humming as the background noise. Sometimes it would be punctuated with her giggles. Even on the mornings when he had woken up on the couch because Alex had sentenced him to it in her anger the night before, that routine hadn’t ever changed. _  
_

Not this morning. Not this time.

  

When he wakes up, he is greeted by a cold silence, threatening to engulf his heart. Afraid that Alex might have left him, Matt immediately gets up and frantically looks for her, his heart singing in relief when he finds her in the kitchen, and then rapidly sinking because she wouldn’t even look at him. She had even prepared the breakfast, plating and all done, without waiting for him to wake up and help her out.

  

All throughout the breakfast, Matt keeps stealing glances at Alex, trying to talk to her, only to be met by her silence. After the breakfast, he tries to help her with the dishes- joins her at the sink, a brush in his hands, soaked with soap water up to the elbows. But as soon as he picks up the first dish, Alex takes her hands out of the water, rinses them, wipes them on the kitchen towel, and walks out of the kitchen.

 

 

 ~~*~~

  

He tries flowers. 

  

Instead of buying a bouquet, he picks his flowers himself. A mix of brightly and softly colored flowers- each one carefully selected depending on what trait of Alex’s that flower reminded him of.

  

He could go up to her himself and hand her the flowers, but he knows she wouldn’t even look at them if he did that. So he keeps the flowers on the table by her side of the bed. May be they would work. May be.

_Except, they don’t._

  
_~~*~~_  


  

Next, he tries tea

  

He knows how Alex loves her tea, which flavors she loves and what she likes with her tea. Accordingly, he prepares a tray- her favorite tea, biscuits and pastries. And a single pale pink rose.

 

_The cold tea and the untouched pastries mock him from their resting place._

 

_~~*~~_

  

When she comes out of the room, he thinks she might now talk to him. Or, at least look at him.

  

He wants her to glare at him; shout at him; to throw things at him; to slap him, if that would make her happy. She doesn’t. And he knows he has hurt her more than he had thought.

  

He wants to say the words- let it all out- but her expression- the look in her eyes [ _Aren’t you a downright bastard to have put that look there,_ he mentally scolds himself] tells him that she doesn’t want to talk to him.

  

She heads straight to the kitchen. Matt wants to follow, pull her into him, hug her tightly, wipe out every thing from the last night from her mind.

  

He does none of that. Stays put. Out of her way. Like she wants him to. Even if it breaks his heart.

                                                                                                                                   

 

~~*~~

  

It has been hours since Alex had last spoken to him.  _Feels like ages,_  he thinks.

  

His every attempt to get Alex to talk to him has failed. He has tried flowers, tea, teddy bears, her favorite show, little notes, long letters- anything and everything he could think of. She is still not talking to him. 

  

Alex was not one of those persons who could stay still, or quiet for longer durations. Always moving about- humming some song, out-of-tune, or giggling at something, or talking to herself about some random thing. Always. And it had been more than 15 hours since Alex had last uttered a single word. His ears were aching to hear her laughter, his heart dying to see her smile- to see her look at him in that way she does.

  

More than anything, he had always been afraid of this day. He had always thought that such a day would kill him. And it does. A slow painful death, without Alex’s comforting presence by his side.

  

He doesn’t want that. Right at this moment, he is ready to do anything-  ** _anything_** \- that Alex would ask him to do just to see her look at him and not through him.

  

He is just wandering through the flat, trying to stop the tears from falling. He has hurt Alex, he knows. But her silence is  _ **killing**_  him.

  

His steps take him to the nursery. This time he can’t stop the tears from flowing.  ** _Miracle of miracles._  **They were going to have a baby. A little bundle of joy of their own. How it had happened? Apart from the basics, he didn’t know. They had always thought Alex couldn’t get pregnant, but somehow she was.  _God! If it wasn’t the most beautiful thing to happen to him!_

 

And there she is. Rocking in the armchair he had installed in the nursery, reading some parenting book. He quietly approaches her, sits in front of her, on the small table kept there. She makes a move to leave the room.

 

Quickly getting up, Matt catches hold of her wrist. She stops near the doorway, her back towards him.  _At least she has stopped,_ he reasons.

 

Walking around her to face her, Matt catches hold of her other wrist too, and holds both her hands tightly in his. Looking in her eyes, his own shimmering with tears, he starts, “Alex, love, I am sorry. I am so so sorry. Please. Please just listen to me. Once?” He tries to keep his emotions in check, his voice betraying him, “At least hear me out. Let me apologise for everything I have done that I shouldn’t have done, and everything I have said that I shouldn’t have said. I know I am an ass. I had acted as a pillock, and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry you had to put up with me. And I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me here any more, but please, love, at least once, just look at me. Say something. Slap me. Scream at me. Throw anything you want at me. Just please, look at me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t. Please, say something, love.”

 

"What do you want me to say, Matt? There isn’t anything more to say, is there?" This is the first time she has spoken to him in the entire day, and the wobble in it makes him want to kill himself. With tears in his eyes, he gives her a peck on her lips, not sure if more than that would be welcomed right now.

 

"You pretty much told me that I was being ridiculous," a single tear escapes her eye, "that I am getting fatter and crazier everyday. Matt, do you know how that feels? I am putting on more and more weight every day. I can’t eat a damn thing properly because its makes me nauseous. I can’t sleep because my back is hurting. I had asked you one question. One simple question. All you had to do was to tell me if I was looking fat in that dress!"

 

By now she is properly crying. He pulls her into him and hugs her tightly, feeling the small bulge of her belly. He kisses the top of her head.

 

"Never again, love, never again."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
